A Woman in Law School

Lawful Lady tagged me and I'm just getting around to it.

Best Memory of my first year of Law School:

Wow, I suck because I really can't think of many great memories. I was really excited to get my grades back after the first semester because it made me realize that I was capable of passing. I was also very happy to know that I'm not a horrible writer. Writing has always been a weakness/phobia of mine.

Worst Memory of my first year of Law School:

The day I let my opinion run rampant and lost a good friend. Here's the thing, law school is a horrible place to really let your opinion and/or concern be known.

My first semester I made several good friends and tried to balance studying and friendships. After receiving my grades I knew I could do a much better job and vowed to really try second semester to improve my grades. In my attempt to study smarter I realized that some of my friends didn't like the fact that I was spending more time focusing in class, rather than on facebook or goofing off. These friends started talking poorly about me and expressed "concern" about my "behavior." In defense, I suggested that they too could probably benefit from taking classes a little more seriously, and then shit flew everywhere.

So here is what I learned about law school:

• classmates coming straight from undergrad still have a lot to learn in terms of their communication style, and from life in general.
• in addition, classmates coming straight from undergrad also have a lot to learn in terms of what "professionalism" really means. Law school is a professional school; what you say and do now I'll remember. So, while it's difficult to keep your mouth shut and hold your head high it might just help you become a more professional person in the long run. Yes, I said things I shouldn't have; yes, I apologized, however, continuing to bad mouth someone is just stupid. I'd rather be remembered as a hard worker than as someone who just wants to gossip.
• thus, I've come to believe that insecurity causes law school drama-----stay far away!!
• So far I have not met the best friends of my life here, and I feel much like New Kid who has a great post summing up similar thoughts.
• Always ALWAYS remember that you're in law school to get a job. Start working on your professional skills now. This includes learning how to listen, practicing patience, and building a strong work ethic. Yes, I want a summer vacation, however I also want as much experience as possible to help me become a better future employee.

Wow, that makes me sound extremely bitchy, gunner-like, and nerdy. Being slightly older than the typical law student has really left me a bitchy person when it comes to discussing law school. I'll admit it, I hate the drama of law school, however I'm beginning to realize that I enjoy the work that I'm doing.

So, in some ways my worst memory has really turned out to be a good thing for me. It really helped me re-focus on why I am in law school, that studying is important, and that my classmates aren't the kind of people I want to truly be myself with.

You?

So I've been missing...

and feeling very un-bloggy.

Enough of that! Back to getting some readers!

So, I really pushed myself the last two weeks of finals. I was at the library every morning, ready for eight hours of group study time. It sucked...majorly. However, I'm really glad I pushed myself toward group study because I learned the material so much better than I would have just on my own.

As you know, I asked Nosy Nancy to study with me, which turned out to be a great decision for the both of us. Then another classmate, B, joined us so we were three, and three was a great number. Together the three of us worked on our outlines and talked through concepts outloud. B was great because he always had excellent questions to challenge us.

The three of us worked happily together until the day before our first exam when two other classmates joined us. So my small little group ended up being five people throughout all four exams...and we worked amazingly well considering how tired, scared, irritated and angry we all were.

Our last exam was six hours long, with a three hour multiple choice test (not as easy as you would think). Our professor put copies of a multiple choice book on reserve for us to work through and familiarize ourselves with her style, the only problem was that my fellow classmates liked to hide the copies. In addition, the gunner in our section told me that it was rude of me to take two copies of the book. I looked at her as politely as I could and said hell no, one copy for five people is NOT workable. This is the same gunner who asked six long ass questions of our professor, knowing that we were standing outside her office for close to a half hour.

As much as I tried to be helpful and not resort to childish tactics like that of the gunner and my fellow classmates I couldn't help but feel compelled to travel down that path. This is what law school does to you.

NOW RUN!! RUN AWAY FAST!!!

Since my last final I've been relaxing, cleaning, and spending a lot of time thinking about how I want to approach my 2L year.

I've got a busy summer ahead with room for plenty of postings.

Now I've just got to see if anyone out there is still reading...HOLLA BACK!

Whenever I can I try to observe court. It's a good way to network, think fast, and see what reality looks like after law school. Over winter break I observed a lot of criminal and juvenile hearings. Today I observed what is known here as child abuse court.

It was not fun. Not only were the cases difficult to hear, it was also difficult to try and remain impartial as an observer. I suppose I didn't have to remain objective but I'm still trying to figure out what "side" I prefer and thus I try to challenge myself to see both sides.

Otherwise things went well.

When I observe court I always do the following things:

• let the baliff know I'm a law student observing. He/she usually informs the judge, who has several times invited me up to the stand to talk about law and law school.
• take business cards to exchange. Yes, I don't like doing it but attorneys love giving them out and it's easy to just hand one back. Tip: always write something about your conversation on the back to remind them of who/where/how you met, etc.
• have questions ready to ask the judge or attorneys. Most of the time the questions aren't answered, but it does set things in motion to get an interesting conversation going.
• thank the judge and baliff for letting me observe.

My favorite judge is out of town for the rest of the week which is a blessing in some ways as I should spend more time outlining...

I hate outlining...

Yes, we have a problem according to my Contracts professor (who I cannot stand). Apparently someone is signing in for someone else who is not attending class. And now we've all be told what horrible students we are, how our trust is gone, and how he just doesn't know how he'll proceed with roll from now on.

I hate being talked to like a child. And I am bothered that the entire class is being lectured because of an individual's stupidity.

Yes, it's an art to be mastered.

And I'm trying to weave the notion into my tired head.

At times I feel as if there is no such thing as privacy in law school and thus, "the art" of it comes into play.

It's not a new idea. In general, people are clueless about the space around them and about the conversations we all become a part of. I recently worked my way into a conversation after I had eavesdropped for a good 15 minutes. I was happy I did as the two professors had lovely ideas and suggestions for me. However, I still overheard their private conversation making it far from private.

So, take note! We are always listening. Nothing you say is per se "private." Especially to law students, as seen HERE!

I came across this piece over at Feministing, one of my favorite feminist blogs. Neko Case was recommended to me by a former roommate, but I never listened to her because, well, I rarely took advice or suggestions from this roommate because I just didn't. We had one of those friendships where you just keep saying "yeah, uh huh." in any and all conversations.

Then I woke up to Neko's voice on NPR one morning and fell instantly in love with her haunting voice. The fact that she grew up not too far from me excited me as well.

While the context in which I apply her words are different than the blog piece, I can't help but relate to the phrase "Don't let them tell you you're nothing." I'm finding that I'm reminding myself that I worked hard to get into law school, that it's a privilege just to be where I'm at. I'm reminding myself of the light at the end of the tunnel; the work that I desire to do; the bleeding heart liberal change I wish to inspire; yada, yada, yada. I'm working my ass off; I lack sleep, nutrition, and common sense and I'm struggling with my classmate's small comments which try to keep me believing that I'm nothing. "Nothing" as in my hard work is not going to pay off. It's to the point where I'm thinking of switching seats in my classes. I don't want to take this step mainly because I'm trying equally hard to balance being social with being studious. I also believe that I can work through the comments and the challenge of staying focused in class. The hard part is that these are supposed to be my friends. I suppose this is where the "oh so wise" 2Ls and 3Ls will laugh at me and tell me that there is no such thing as "friends" in law school but I'll refuse to listen. I think friendship is possible, it just might take awhile for me to find it. But right now I'm focusing on telling myself that I AM EVERYTHING! And the briefing, prepping for class, outlining and time I'm putting in will pay off. It will. And they will eventually learn that there are no casenotes for life after law school.*

And now for one of my favorite Neko Case songs:

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=50dzxkJa1NE

(And yes, that is her LIVE. That voice is mesmerizing!)





* Casenotes are briefs you can purchase for your text book. Many law students choose to read these in lieu of their actual textbooks.

I sit by the same person in all my classes. She is a good friend and study partner which I believe to be rare. (It usually seems like they're either good friends or good people to ask questions to, but not both.) The problem I've had lately is that she always watches my screen. So if I have my e-mail up she is right there reading it too. If I check for celebrity gossip during slow classroom discussions, she is right there reading along with me. It bothers me. And it bothers me for more than the obvious "she's nosy" reason. If she is watching my damn screen all day and professors look up, they see not only me looking at a screen but also her. And you can tell she isn't taking notes.

So in lieu of asking her to stop I plan on purchasing a security screen blocker. I figure it will send the message well anyway.

Does anyone have one of these? How well do they work? I've heard they aren't cheap, but I figure it could come in handy for reasons other than Nosy Nancy.

All but one of my grades has been posted. The grade that hasn't been posted is the one I'm most curious about because I thought it was my best exam. Grades are interesting. I kinda know where I sit amongst my classmates now and it bothers me. When I was a graduate student all I had to do was maintain a 3.00 GPA which was simple, even when you're taking all math courses and grades weren't really taken into consideration by employers either. Now, I'm "competing" with 60 others and I'm starting to feel like maybe I don't know how to do this well enough. Don't get me wrong, I am content with my grades. There is always room for improvement...yada, yada, yada. BUT this is where the what ifs start appearing. What if I study more! What if I did more practice exams! And the thing is I may just always be in the spot I'm at, regardless of what I try. I just have to be appreciative that I'm not the last in my class.

What bums me out is that there are law students in my class that will be eager to discuss grades on facebook and in class when we start next week and I can honestly say that I don't want to know how others did.

So, if you are talking about grades around me beware! My formula response will be, "Do you want to share your sex life too? Because that's pretty personal."

I just have to remember that grades can't necessarily network for you. And if there is one thing I can do it's network and talk to strangers. Sometimes a pleasant personality can open a lot of doors for you. At least let's hope it does.

I'm stealing this from Useless Dicta!



"Look at the posts you’ve made in the past year, and paste the first line of the first post of each month."



January, February, March: Nothing! This blog was in utero? Perhaps I should say that I was too busy with law school applications and studying to re-take the LSAT.



April: The last couple of months have been hectic.



May: I've been busy lately which means that when I get together with friends there is a lot to catch up on, especially when you have to tell them you leaving the state for law school.



June: School is out which means I'm on to new odds and ends jobs this summer before I begin law school.



July: The following conversation occurred while shopping in a crowded Deseret Industries thrift store.



August: I picked J up from the airport and we went out for lunch where we ran into Mr. So-and-So.



September: Dear Classmates, Hi there.



October: I don't wear printed clothing or pieces that have their label embazzed on the front.



November: There is a month before finals...do you know where your outlines are?



December: And now I get to play catch up.



Thoughts: I think I come across as boring on this blog. This may be because I don't want to risk my anonymity but as I've been good about not letting this blog slip I just might introduce y'all more to me in the new year. And then you can really say that yes, Kel, you're lame.

J and I asked for Amazon gift certificates this year for Christmas. Nothing says "special" and "overly thoughtful" like a gift certificate in my book.

So $250 smacks bought the majority of my textbooks last night. All I have left is my contracts hornbooks, of which my prof recommends two obscure titles. So for all of you out there who thoroughly enjoyed contracts last semester or year any suggestions on contracts hornbooks?

I realized that it's impossible for me to feel completely prepared for an exam. It also seems so unnatural to completely switch gears after an exam and move on to the next subject. Dropping one subject after spending so much time on it and moving to the next is strange. I also found that the day after an exam I was pretty much useless. I joked that unbeknowst to me I was somehow attacked by zombies as I had no energy and could not focus at all. Make note--no focus still means you have to somehow focus, which translates into "not cool."

I now envy the fact that my best friend read romance novels throughout her law school days. I wish I could do the same. I suppose I could read romance novels now that exams are over but it wouldn't be the same. Maybe it was her zombie like moment?

Exams--eh. I hand wrote them this semester and I now realize that I could benefit from typing them next semester. It's not that I can't type, its moreso that I can't organize my thoughts well and type at the same time. I think its something that I'm going to try to work on over the break. Yes, I'm crazy. I'm going to continue to take torts exams over break so that I learn how to think through these crazy questions and exams.

After each exam some friends and I went out to eat and relaxed. We didn't talk about the exams, we didn't talk about the next exam, we just chillaxed. It was exactly what we needed and it's nice to know that when all things are said and done you've got friends to turn. More importantly, you've got friends who will understand you're too exhausted to talk. You have no idea how many waiters I thrilled by having them decide my entire meal, down to what I drank and what I had for dessert!

One thing I can't help but think about is my exam questions. I find myself still issue-spotting or rethinking my application of certain rules. Oh well, there's nothing I can do now. I just wish it wouldn't pop into my head at random points in the day. Our property professor said that the usual A only gets about 60% of the issues, so I guess I shouldn't feel too bad.

Exams completely drain you. I took the longest shower today and completely scrubbed myself. I haven't felt attractive in weeks. I haven't eaten as healthy as I should. And sleep is slowly coming back to me. I've got five weeks before I start the process over again and I'm going to hone in on being lazy. In other words, no, I don't plan on starting my early assignments any time soon.

I was trying to explain to my dad how draining exams are. He doesn't quite get it. But then again he did learn how to use a laptop today and now has e-mail. ("Why do I need e-mail when I'm surrounded by cows?") He asked me if I thought I did ok, to which I responded "meh." Then he asked me if I had talked about the exam with a classmate he met. I said no because just talking about the exam and how other people approached the questions can drive you insane. He still didn't see what the big deal was and looking back I can say that I didn't think talking about your exams would pose a problem. Oh how I was wrong! I had to politely ask others around me to not talk about the exam, I had to be rude at times, I had to stand my ground and not let others destroy my perfect post-exam bliss. I suppose I shouldn't call it bliss, however there was a zen-like calmness to being done with an exam.

Next semester, I hope to have similar thoughts on exams. I also hope that my civil procedure outline is done before the exam...but I'm not going to think about that now.

Fellow blogger Gudnuff asked some good questions about the Client Counseling Competition so I thought I would address them in another post.

Client counseling is a skill some lawyers regularly do. I first learned about it in our legal research and writing class because we had to practice interviewing each other and suggest avenues of potential action. It makes complete sense that a lawyer would interview a client, however I never really thought of it as a learned skill before law school. Lawyers are always meeting with clients so it makes sense to think about and practice how you would organize an initial interview.

The competition had no affect on our grades. If you won or advanced to the next level I suppose it gave you bragging rights. My partner and I didn't spend too much time preparing for it and overall it was a good experience. The judges gave us good feedback on how well we questioned, listened and put our client at ease. I know that I don't take criticism well so it was an opportunity to receive some good constructive criticism and continue to learn how to accept it gracefully.

I'm all about putting myself in uncomfortable positions. I'm not the best at networking so the more I put myself into awkward shoes, the more I learn how to relax and network in a non-cheesy fashion. One of the judges was an attorney that talked to us earlier in the semester about an externship I was interested in. Because he was there and I recognized him I was able to ask him more questions about the externship and continue to get face time with him. So I suppose the competition was worth it just for that.

Again, I would recommend it to all law students if you have the opportunity. It was fun to talk with local attorneys and get to know my partner better. If anything it's an excuse to wear a suit!

I had a criminal law exam yesterday.

It was hell. And I mean that in the wtf kind of hypothetical way. When I recapped the hypo to J he said, "WTF?" And I said, "yeah, tell me about it!"

I chose to hand write my exam for one major reason. There were only ten of us in the tiny room and we all weren't psychopaths. These nine people are good folk! We laughed, we wished each other luck, there was no psyching-me out moments, it was good clean fun. Whether they know it or not these classmates kept me calm and confident, something I desperately needed for my first exam. I heard the typers were vicious. I just laughed.

I went into the exam laughing, full of my cheesy Meg Ryan confidence. I just kept picturing Meg Ryan in You've Got Mail doing her little boxing bit when she was pysching herself up for her fight against Fox Books. That was me yesterday and will be me on Friday, and twice again next week. Our professor said to go in and treat the exam like a three hour art project. Well, I glittered, I bedazzeled, and I puffy painted the crap out of that mess. And I think I did ok. I think I need to spend more time analyzing the facts to the rule, but overall I was ok with the exam. I had plenty to discuss. And most importantly I walked out of that room with the biggest smile. Take that jerks! I'm gonna psych you out with sheer confidence! So go ahead and gawk because my puffy paint, glittered, bedazzelness should make you shake in your boots!

Some of you may have noticed my disappearance from the blogosphere in the last week. Well, there is plenty to say about that, but not enough time to devote to it.

In a nutshell:

My computer died Wednesday November 19th. As I didn't backup my notes as frequently as I should have, and the only copy of my memo was on my laptop I went straight into banshee mode. Nothing was recoverable and I'm grateful that I chose to take notes by hand in the majority of my classes. So, I ran around like a chicken without its head and managed to turn in a crappy second memo and am now working on my outlines for finals. J, the wonderful boyfriend that he is, bought me another laptop since we were skeptical that a new hard drive would arrive soon enough for me to take exams. So the lesson to be learned is to sign up for either Mozy or regularly back up all notes! Go! Do it now!

Ok. So now I'm in finals mode and staying away from law school as much as possible! More to come but for now I've got to transfer my notes, set up Exam Soft, and get back to practice exams and outlines. I'm beat already and finals haven't even begun.

Issue: Is the issue that some of my classmates are driving me into depression and a constant state of irrationality present or my mind's creation?

Rule: When finals are approaching your fellow law student classmates will do whatever it takes to make you feel less of a person and make you question your humanity.

Application: My fellow law students have been very vocal about how much studying they've already done, how concise their outlines are, how their memos are finished and how they've already completed several practice exams. Some just make you feel inadequate in general in that they're quick to respond to any review question, small assignment, hypothetical, etc.

Conclusion: I don't like being around law students right now. It's not good for my health as they are a constant reminder of all the things I: 1) haven't done; 2) want to do; 3) want to find time to do; and 4) the reason why I don't study at the law library.


These people are driving me crazy and we have two weeks until our first final. I'm off to meditate as I don't do well with crazies surrounding me.

Well, I received my final grade on my first memo. I should be very happy with myself however the grade is just confusing. Let's say I got a K+ on the first draft and the same for the final. While I should be happy I feel like I didn't improve because I have the same grade.

In other realms of my legal life, I had a breakdown with my legal writing professor today. Our final memo is due next week and it seems like everyone around me has their drafts nearly done. I am far, far from that reality. In fact, I have a skeleton memo and I can't even make a Halloween reference.

The pressure is really starting to hit me. I don't think I've ever had to juggle so many things at once. And they ain't easy tasks! Yesterday I went to bed a 9pm because I was just done. Kaput! Finito! And I felt guilty that I couldn't even review my measly little outlines.

I'm also trying to reconcile a "friendship" here in law school land. And I think this is a big reason why I've felt so drained. I'll save that one for another time... maybe I'll IRAC it for ya!

My fortune cookie today said: "Counting time is not so important as making time count."

I think it's obvious what this means...I need to seriously buckle down and outline, outline, outline!

What scares me is that I don't think I'm the best at IRAC. So any tips on how to do awesome analysis and issue spotting?

Or for you 1Ls, how are you approaching our first exams?

Have I mentioned to you that I have a closed memo from hell? Have I mentioned that even though it is closed my classmates spend a lot of time discussing it with each other? I don't know how I feel about this. On one hand I want to discuss it with people. On the other hand, knowing the memo is curved, I don't want people discussing it as I think it may give them an unfair advantage. I also see the point in learning how to do this by yourself. I really wish our professor would elaborate on how closed this memo really is.

When your professor practically spoon feeds you your first memo and cuts the umbilical cord for the second, you quickly learn you're like a deer in headlights.

I also hate that I only have two weeks for this memo. HA! Two weeks! I'm just waiting to have my ass served to me when I learn in the real world two weeks is too long.

Let's just hope that my deer in headlights moment doesn't flatten me into roadkill.

Then again, I'm starting to feel like roadkill with all this on my plate.

Butterflyfish once commented that it looks like I'm taking this whole law school thing seriously. Here is where I disappoint her.

With exams only 33 days away I decided to pick up the Twilight series. You know, the teenage vampire romance series everyone is talking about? Let me say that again, the teenage vampire romance series.

At first I was quite embarrassed to admit that I was reading these books. I mean, I'm not in high school, or undergraduate, and I'm over the age of 25. There is a part of me that doesn't even considered this literature. When you can buy the book at Walmart you know something is wrong. Now I laugh because this series has got to be one of the best reads for a law student taking property, torts, and criminal law.

Seriously, they are worth reading. Especially if you lack a life due to constant studying and have driven all your friends away with your legalese.

Reasons why YOU as a law student should start reading about teenage vampires:

• ISSUE SPOTTING--you would be amazed at how many torts are embedded within the story. And they're not just intentional torts because Bella, the main character, finds her way into many negligent situations as well. Granted a vampire will almost always have intent but what type of intent is it really?
• Distinguishing between murder and voluntary manslaughter. It takes the whole "heat of passion" to a new level. Was the vampire hungry and thus intended to kill? Or was it "heat of passion?"
• For property, I found an equitable servitude and of course trespass and abandoned property.
• Thinking of taking Indian Law? One of my best lawyer friends wondered if she should ask her professor about jurisdiction if the Indian morphs into a werewolf like the Quileute members do.
• Mediation opportunities galore! Vampires and werewolves aren't exactly fond of each other and when you put them in the same town there is bound to be conflict.

Trust me, the issue spotting alone has made this read so much more enjoyable! Now if I could only find time to finish the last book...

Sometimes I wonder if I'm wrongly going about this whole law school thing. I am beginning to lose my focus in the reading. I am beginning to not review concepts after class. I often feel like my classmates have a better handle on the subject matter than I do. I no longer type out my briefs but instead do some very thorough book briefing. I try to read supplements for each of my classes, but I can't help but think I'm not doing enough. And I don't even have the time to add anything in because it has been taking me longer to get through the reading when I have such crappy focus skills.

I want to escape. I want a huge pile of leaves to jump into. I want an armchair, a pot of tea, a good book and a scenic view to look up at in between well-written sentences. I want a break.

But I cannot have one. I have a full plate and then some.

Did I mention that another memo in the making only makes things worse? Did I mention I have company coming this weekend? Did I mention that I didn't invite them? Did I mention I have a networking event with the judicial community that I also have to put my game face on for and go to?

Buckling down is not fun. Tell me it gets better...